Wednesday, April 29, 2020

Jasmine, buttercups, and a smile!

In an effort to continue away from my PC (aka too much inside time), I decided to write my blog post while on a walk. It’s windier outside than I realized which is really rather pleasant. After a troubling  morning, but then being given immensely helpful advise and support, I put on my exercise shorts and a light colored shirt and hit the greenway.  I’m not the type in general to skimp on outdoors time, so it’s not like my body has been suffering from no sunlight. But if you’ve ever suffered from a negative mindcycle, you’ll know that it’s way easier to just lie in bed and mope.

I made that end at 1. Now it’s somewhat frustrating when you pass someone on the trail and although you’re keeping a safe distance, no one smiles. When I smile at them, all I get in return is a grimace or a downturned head. Let’s put that aside, as I walked and passed people and smiled, then that meant I was smilingly happy to see a person enjoying the same activity I am. Not only am I proud of myself, but I feel proud of these strangers.

To wrap this up, here are some pics I took during my adventure. Jasmine, buttercups, and me!





Tuesday, April 28, 2020

The reason I try to sleep

A looming question floats suspended just inside my forethoughts. Before reaching the memories, ideas from the day, moments of lost inspiration, turns of emotions, this question lingers for an answer. It begs a reaction, but I am hesitant to confirm my fear. But... it remains.


What darkened depth have you reached?

I have yet to reply.
Because there are few things that hurt more
 than recognition of your tired self.





Staving Off the Hunger of Depression

Sometimes it's okay to set a low expectation for your day. When you meet it, and if you go beyond it, then you can say proudly, "I've done it!" There can be joy in the small goals.

I know I am capable of big goals. I've accomplished great feats in my life and gone beyond what I thought I was capable of.

But when depression chips away at resolve, it's tough to keep myself in a same state of "this is who I am." I need to stop comparing myself to others and value what is good and strong about me.